Done

Don't play tough, don't play rough
Days and nights thinking 'bout the crust
Likely or to be precisely, nothing's not going nuts
'Um scared, very scared, scared to be broken scared to be loved.

Now I am stepping back,
wishing for something never been wished
chilling with the paperback,
with the sea breeze and your odour to be missed

All those Questions all those Lies
Fishing for the perfect time.
To be done, To be over, To be tied.
The woman is the biggest lie.

I am asking myself,
if the pride comes back to myself...
for all those doubts that I kept within myself
And now everything is against myself

To be fooled or not to be fooled.
By the sweetest words from you.
And now I have overcome the fool.
To be bulletproof, to be very bulletproof.

If having the chance to be held again,
I will have enough feelings, to conquer the selfishness
the kisses and the touch, to be rough
never to have that one little minute, little stare.

You will not notice why
I have been so tired, to escape to disappear
to lose connection to clear my mind.
The inside of me cries, as you are there high.

This is more than enough
enough to be in touch
if I have ever crossed your mind
Please, don't remember I was blind enough.

HONG KONG

Hellooooooo :D xxx

Yes I am back in hong kong for summer, despite the fact that I am not enjoying as much!
However, I can try and list out the good side of being here;
Seeing all my lovely friends and cousins, my family, new flat and all my belongings haha Also I get to sleep in a proper bed with my dogs and teddy bears! I get to hang out and go shopping, my mom planned to put me in some dance classes as well! Since I told her briefly about my experience in Oxford University Dancesport, therefore she wants me to train well this summer. I am convincing her to get me a ballroom dress too! *fingers crossed* haha xxxx

These days have been boring because every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I have this summer job, and it is BORING! I do not like it at all but I have to continue because my mom says so. B O O.

*FYI* Here is a piece of not-so-good news, for both me and maybe you, I have been receiving too many complains slash judgements saying that I have gained too much weight again, well it actually happens everytime I come back home, so I have come up with a 'solution' is that I started taking diet pills. Yup. These pills will make me not wanting to eat, I want to vomit 24/7 and it tortures human, I am not joking. They can guarantee you to lose at least 5kg a month or something, I am recommended by my brother's girlfriend, she lost 16 lbs in one month which is insane. They don't cost so much, approximately £30 a month, and you have to take it everyday.  

Talking about eating or whatsoever, I had this urge to bake ever since last century when I was back in Oxford already, and with the advantage of being in a new home (we moved), I decided to cook a random meal! I went for a 'little' grocery shopping with my maid and spent £70! Thats too crazy Hong Kong, I thought it was cheaper than england... We do not even have VAT here.
Anyway, I have made some banana bread, carbonara and stuffed potato, they all tasted delicious, I am not saying it because I made them, they really were delicious hahaha x

Tonight my cousin is sleeping over (she already did on my first night here), so my brother, cousin and I are planning to order pizza and it will be amazing! Mom is at work as usual and she has a conference tonight I guess, so my cousin and I will probably have a karaoke session at home and go crazy hahaha 

Tomorrow I am hoping to be able to skip work, because I really do not want to go, like that area will become my most hated place soon. I don't want to complain but it really is boring and completely not anything I am interested in. The boss of the company is my mom's good friend and they are working partners, he called my mom today and said I worked really well and very efficient, I am hoping that would not be the reason why they would like to keep me longer.

Let's not talk about work, I am starving and I miss all my best friends so much... I talk to them almost everyday because we (our generation) cannot live without our phones/social networking platform hahaha 

This is a quick update, I know I haven't been doing it lately ALEX :) Love you xxxxxx

Crazy

Indeed, these few days have been very crazy and I have no idea how much crazier things could be.

Crazy in terms of happy crazy times/ sad crazy times/ frustrating crazy times...

Things have been so good for a few days, and went totally opposite for the next couple of days, I have no idea what to decide and it is just 5 days till I will go home. I suppose having a vacation will be good enough to settle things down and make up my mind! "We accept the love we think we deserve."

Also I have been telling myself to just let things be, do not go mad too easily and it is better to not overthink or care too much because at the end of the day "if it's meant to be, it will be."

So yeah :) 

Yesterday I went to University of Brighton and Sussex, today I went to Bournemouth and Southampton University. I didn't really like any of them but if I have to pick one I would pick Southampton, I am very nervous and worried about which University am I going to go to or apply to, and thinking about the possibilities is even worse. 

People always say that we should do what we want, but human wants are unlimited...

Okay I am too tired to continue with this post, I will update soon! xxx

The roller coaster

Hola lovelies xx

Yes it has been half a month since I last updated, I have been super lazy and busy because of exams which just finished on friday. So now I am spending this tiny slot to update a little bit :)

Dance has been very good, I had fun every lesson. I started to go to the practice hall as well (it is only for competitors), it is such a good time to practice anything you want. Basically you just go there and the whole venue is for OUDC, there is music (always ballroom ... boo) and you just dance whatever you want for hours! I stopped going to latin medal classes because it is a little bit boring for me and I am lack of cash hahaha This problem has been bothering me because I use only cards here, plus the problem with my bank card is that they have a new rule for overseas account and everything is just a mess, in short I cannot take any cash out. I thought I only needed cash for laundry and taxis but...

OH! It is 11 days from now then I am going home! I am confused if it is really a happy thing for me because I found out that most of the people (from dance) are not going home for summer, and they will have small competitions during it, therefore I am going to miss all of them! 

On the other hand, I am quite looking forward to going home, I am going to meet all my friends and relatives, it will be great! I am invited to go to some parties, a wedding, a summer internship and I will be visiting somewhere in Asia, not sure where yet. Also! I am going to live in a new house when I go back, this is so exciting because I am going to design everything! hahaha ouuuuu

As I said, I have finished my internal exams this friday, it has driven me crazy, no kidding. No matter how much I study, I just felt like I am an idiot. And I stayed up until 4am in the hallway studying, that was painful. I wasn't rushing at the last minute though, I have been catching up for one month (0 social life), and it still went bad... I will be getting thee papers on monday, I am very not looking forward to :)

In terms of interpersonal relationship, I have been numb since long ago. I don't care so much about dramas among people, I no longer think that it should matter to me if someone is being the drama queen. And they claim that they just don't mind to involve with the dramas between their friends, basically they don't think there is any problem. Good luck then x

Today I am going to the AGM of OUDC and also a dinner :) toddles x