Done

Don't play tough, don't play rough
Days and nights thinking 'bout the crust
Likely or to be precisely, nothing's not going nuts
'Um scared, very scared, scared to be broken scared to be loved.

Now I am stepping back,
wishing for something never been wished
chilling with the paperback,
with the sea breeze and your odour to be missed

All those Questions all those Lies
Fishing for the perfect time.
To be done, To be over, To be tied.
The woman is the biggest lie.

I am asking myself,
if the pride comes back to myself...
for all those doubts that I kept within myself
And now everything is against myself

To be fooled or not to be fooled.
By the sweetest words from you.
And now I have overcome the fool.
To be bulletproof, to be very bulletproof.

If having the chance to be held again,
I will have enough feelings, to conquer the selfishness
the kisses and the touch, to be rough
never to have that one little minute, little stare.

You will not notice why
I have been so tired, to escape to disappear
to lose connection to clear my mind.
The inside of me cries, as you are there high.

This is more than enough
enough to be in touch
if I have ever crossed your mind
Please, don't remember I was blind enough.

HONG KONG

Hellooooooo :D xxx

Yes I am back in hong kong for summer, despite the fact that I am not enjoying as much!
However, I can try and list out the good side of being here;
Seeing all my lovely friends and cousins, my family, new flat and all my belongings haha Also I get to sleep in a proper bed with my dogs and teddy bears! I get to hang out and go shopping, my mom planned to put me in some dance classes as well! Since I told her briefly about my experience in Oxford University Dancesport, therefore she wants me to train well this summer. I am convincing her to get me a ballroom dress too! *fingers crossed* haha xxxx

These days have been boring because every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I have this summer job, and it is BORING! I do not like it at all but I have to continue because my mom says so. B O O.

*FYI* Here is a piece of not-so-good news, for both me and maybe you, I have been receiving too many complains slash judgements saying that I have gained too much weight again, well it actually happens everytime I come back home, so I have come up with a 'solution' is that I started taking diet pills. Yup. These pills will make me not wanting to eat, I want to vomit 24/7 and it tortures human, I am not joking. They can guarantee you to lose at least 5kg a month or something, I am recommended by my brother's girlfriend, she lost 16 lbs in one month which is insane. They don't cost so much, approximately £30 a month, and you have to take it everyday.  

Talking about eating or whatsoever, I had this urge to bake ever since last century when I was back in Oxford already, and with the advantage of being in a new home (we moved), I decided to cook a random meal! I went for a 'little' grocery shopping with my maid and spent £70! Thats too crazy Hong Kong, I thought it was cheaper than england... We do not even have VAT here.
Anyway, I have made some banana bread, carbonara and stuffed potato, they all tasted delicious, I am not saying it because I made them, they really were delicious hahaha x

Tonight my cousin is sleeping over (she already did on my first night here), so my brother, cousin and I are planning to order pizza and it will be amazing! Mom is at work as usual and she has a conference tonight I guess, so my cousin and I will probably have a karaoke session at home and go crazy hahaha 

Tomorrow I am hoping to be able to skip work, because I really do not want to go, like that area will become my most hated place soon. I don't want to complain but it really is boring and completely not anything I am interested in. The boss of the company is my mom's good friend and they are working partners, he called my mom today and said I worked really well and very efficient, I am hoping that would not be the reason why they would like to keep me longer.

Let's not talk about work, I am starving and I miss all my best friends so much... I talk to them almost everyday because we (our generation) cannot live without our phones/social networking platform hahaha 

This is a quick update, I know I haven't been doing it lately ALEX :) Love you xxxxxx

Crazy

Indeed, these few days have been very crazy and I have no idea how much crazier things could be.

Crazy in terms of happy crazy times/ sad crazy times/ frustrating crazy times...

Things have been so good for a few days, and went totally opposite for the next couple of days, I have no idea what to decide and it is just 5 days till I will go home. I suppose having a vacation will be good enough to settle things down and make up my mind! "We accept the love we think we deserve."

Also I have been telling myself to just let things be, do not go mad too easily and it is better to not overthink or care too much because at the end of the day "if it's meant to be, it will be."

So yeah :) 

Yesterday I went to University of Brighton and Sussex, today I went to Bournemouth and Southampton University. I didn't really like any of them but if I have to pick one I would pick Southampton, I am very nervous and worried about which University am I going to go to or apply to, and thinking about the possibilities is even worse. 

People always say that we should do what we want, but human wants are unlimited...

Okay I am too tired to continue with this post, I will update soon! xxx

The roller coaster

Hola lovelies xx

Yes it has been half a month since I last updated, I have been super lazy and busy because of exams which just finished on friday. So now I am spending this tiny slot to update a little bit :)

Dance has been very good, I had fun every lesson. I started to go to the practice hall as well (it is only for competitors), it is such a good time to practice anything you want. Basically you just go there and the whole venue is for OUDC, there is music (always ballroom ... boo) and you just dance whatever you want for hours! I stopped going to latin medal classes because it is a little bit boring for me and I am lack of cash hahaha This problem has been bothering me because I use only cards here, plus the problem with my bank card is that they have a new rule for overseas account and everything is just a mess, in short I cannot take any cash out. I thought I only needed cash for laundry and taxis but...

OH! It is 11 days from now then I am going home! I am confused if it is really a happy thing for me because I found out that most of the people (from dance) are not going home for summer, and they will have small competitions during it, therefore I am going to miss all of them! 

On the other hand, I am quite looking forward to going home, I am going to meet all my friends and relatives, it will be great! I am invited to go to some parties, a wedding, a summer internship and I will be visiting somewhere in Asia, not sure where yet. Also! I am going to live in a new house when I go back, this is so exciting because I am going to design everything! hahaha ouuuuu

As I said, I have finished my internal exams this friday, it has driven me crazy, no kidding. No matter how much I study, I just felt like I am an idiot. And I stayed up until 4am in the hallway studying, that was painful. I wasn't rushing at the last minute though, I have been catching up for one month (0 social life), and it still went bad... I will be getting thee papers on monday, I am very not looking forward to :)

In terms of interpersonal relationship, I have been numb since long ago. I don't care so much about dramas among people, I no longer think that it should matter to me if someone is being the drama queen. And they claim that they just don't mind to involve with the dramas between their friends, basically they don't think there is any problem. Good luck then x

Today I am going to the AGM of OUDC and also a dinner :) toddles x

Cutest

¡HOLA! It's been a while since my last update I know *sad duck face* because there are too many things going on, which have driven me crazy. 

I have to question myself for a billion times, why did I choose to do the IB... It's just the beginning of the madness and we all are feeling tired already. Top that, I have to question myself why did I choose such difficult subject to do my EE and a difficult topic with the strictest teacher at school... el-oh-el 

Oh well, I should stop whining and get things done I know, because I made these choices for my own good and I have to make it happen. 

As I said, there are too many things going on, of course that includes good ones and bad ones. Which to start first... good? bad? ok since I mentioned good first so yeah (I am quite lame)

DANCE! Yes I have been amazingly happy because of dance! I have started ballet a couple weeks ago, and it went pretty good but I have to admit that even though I am a ballet addict, not having to talent is just that thing in between which makes you don't enjoy as much. It did make me happy and get my mind off school work but, the thing that made me happiest these days is latin and ballroom dancing! I have joined the Oxford University Dancesport Club one week ago, and it went AWESOME! Feel the passion there? haha 

When I first went there, I was super nervous outside the dance room because I have stopped for quite a while and things like that. However when I was warming up before class, it was the feeling that I have lost for years, I loved it so much. It might sound dramatic but I am not joking at all, you just feel happy from the inside, and your feet and body feel so 'dancy'! And during the class, we did some jive and rumba (silver and gold level), the coach was so nice to me and he is quite funny. Except for the fact that I had to run back to residence because of curfew haha

That's the latin part, and yesterday I went for ballroom! Same as usual, I felt extra nervous outside the dance room, and since it was the head-coach teaching us, I had super weird feelings. Ok when I got to know that we were doing foxtrot... I cried inside! I have never learnt that, like never! Plus I had to dance with the teacher, perfecto! Whoop! It wasn't that bad actually, I managed to learn the whole routine (not perfectly) haha I had to go after Silver class because firstly I had no cash, secondly I have curfew, thirdly I have homework. And they were doing tango for Gold, which is my favourite for ballroom! boo. 

Ok these things might not sound as exciting or amazing to you, yes because there were actually some highlights, which made me a happy bird! hehe (but that's too personal to share :p)

Let's put the dancy part aside haha dancy what a word.

So, this is one of me and my best friend's favourite restaurants in Oxford, the noodle bar which is a hong kong restaurant. We used to go there everyday after school, but since she is very busy with her boyfriend now so we don't go there anymore! hahahaha 

This is actually coffee sugar as you know the brand illy, I found it quite cute so I took a picture of it while I was in a cafe waiting for my food. I feel like people doubt my attempt to try to be more positive, as my business teacher said to me that "you should have more faith in yourself" and a guy from my dance class said "you just have to be more confident, you are better than you think", these two sentences confused me a lot. I don't know what are they supposed to mean, and I barely know the guy from my dance class, it was the second time we dance when he said that... Is it really that obvious that I am not very positive and have low self-esteem... 

I am trying to be more positive for my own good and that's all, I don't care when suddenly my friends say "why are you suddenly so negative again?". It's not your business and I can be sad sometimes, if one is happy 24/7 then you should be worried. 

Alright, so this is moo-moo's probably the best milkshakes in england? or just Oxford el-oh-el

I went there three times this week, or last week I don't remember, my brain is not working... I had nutella and banana, peanut butter and banana, and nutella and banana for the last time as well. They are so good that you can never resist if you go to city centre! 

SEEYALL.

Best day!

Hello everybody!

As you can see, yes I had the best day ever! Firstly, today is my brother's birthday, which I am very happy about because he is my lovely brother? haha duh. Secondly, I have given my EE introduction to my supervisor which I though I did a terrible job, but she said it was good! That really surprised me and it is a motivation for me to rock the rest of it, but I know getting a 'good' from the strictest teacher in my school doesn't mean I am the best, I mean I could have done even better... oh well
Lastly, which is the best thing really, is that I have gone to have dance classes in the OUDC (which stands for Oxford University Dancesport Club), all I can say now is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! I loved the two classes, which are silver and gold, so so much and I will definitely go there more often! 

I had a really long day (school+ballet+latin dance), even though I am a little bit tired, I still want to update my blog because I am SO happy and excited!! I believe in "rainbow always come after the rain" because yesterday I had a really bad day (that's why I didn't update), but dayum! look at what happened today!? ღ

Okay! Apart from that, I actually had a really nice lunch period with my lovelies, we had this geeky philosophy discussion which I enjoyed a lot. Also, I had a good time in literature class haha I finally loved the novella we are reading after ages! (didn't like the previous ones at all) Lastly, we had this asian education discussion in Spanish class as well, which we got all hyper because of that el-oh-el
Oh! Yeah I overslept today for 10 minutes so I didn't have breakfast boo 3: And I was sleeping during maths and break time, have no clue why was I so tired.
However, I managed to walk in the rain for 45 minutes after ballet, still have no idea why haha xx

So that's basically it! :) I had a lovely day y tu? 

♡ Love life! ♡

♡ Enjoy life to bits! ♡

♡    Don't stop believing!    ♡

♡ Do whatever makes you happy! ♡

Principles.

In my opinion, having your own principles is very important in life. Whether to remind yourself of what or how should things to be done, what to achieve or aim for, and to define yourself. However, having principles will not necessarily guarantee success, but if you do not have a firm and stable foundation to your principles, you will never have success in a long run.

Does not mean that I have to write down a list of my principles and hang it on the wall of my room, it is in your head, in your personality, and it happens naturally. Sometimes people say that holding your principles too hard will make you stubborn instead, I agree to a small extent. 

Some think that doing whatever make them happy is the priority, some think that spreading happiness is the key, or some think that they have to make everyone around them happy in order to be happy. IT'S OKAY! There is no boundary or rules, just follow your dreams~

For instance, I have this principle to myself since secondary school because things get more complicated, more dramas, more stupid things happen, unlike being a kid and nothing really worries you, which is to never change myself for the whole world, I wouldn't want to. I will never fit in because I was not meant to (inspired by Cher), to be specific I would never try to copy someone's style of living, fashion nor actions. I don't really hold this principle so hard as in I don't constantly tell people around me that, and then losers stepped in and be ridiculous. HA! 

I reckon that sticking to your principles makes life easier and hey it's your life, what else could you possibly stick to. el-oh-el x

I choose my own path, live my own way and take my own style. 
Principles also define your own self (personality), what you choose to do (to someone) reflects what are you (to someone)! Good luck~